“You better learn to behave, accept that you are a woman and lower your voice. Never dare raising your voice higher than a man” told my male 47-year-old manager from a top MNC where I used to work 8 years back.
It was my first job in IT and I was very naïve to the industry protocols. I was shocked seeing his wide-open red eyes, shivering mouth, fingers pointed towards me as if he will raise his hand over me if I utter a single more word.
Just that I had asked him in a pretty straight forward manner, “Can you explain me why I got such low rating, given that whole year I had been one of the top performers throughout the year”.
I still remember the bossy, arrogant languages with which he shouted at me by taking me to a meeting room.
I was baffled and really angry at same time with tears in eyes that how can I be treated so biasedly in one of the top MNCs of world. After dedicatedly performing at my best for whole years, just because I am girl, don’t I have the right to know why I was not rated well!!! I mean, if at all I was doing something wrong, don’t I deserve a chance to know what was it and rectify myself? And what’s this crap, that a girl cannot raise voice higher than a man!!! And who gave him the right to think that all women are meant to be submissive, acceptable whatsoever comes in their life??
With so much frustration, I came back home that day from office without knowing what next step I should be taking also. Next day when I went to office, I tried to complain the HR, but he had powerful contacts and I wasn’t very confident. So, no action was taken against this person.
I was so scared from him that for next 1 month, I made sure not to let my manager come to my periphery. I had started feeling very depressed but then in next 2 weeks my results for CAT exam came out and I was lucky to have crack my dream MBA college. Immediately without giving a single thought about my 3 years of dedication towards the organization, I immediately put the papers happily. Very soon this time flew off and I left the company to start my new journey.
Not more than 3 months, I had left the organization, my teammate from the organization called me and informed me that “My X-manager is terminated from company as he had molested a woman employee in the team. If you had raised your voice then, maybe he wouldn’t have dared to behave like a wild pig to women so easily. But it’s ok, finally this clingy man is gone and we all girls feel safe, confident and lively within the team”
That day a series of thoughts came to my mind. I took a pause, evaluated myself and made some commitments for my life which I have been practicing myself since last 8 years and will practice forever.
- As a woman, I have all the rights to choose my voice, my work, my life. I deserve to equally participate in discussions where I have a stake of my hard work. My talent, dedication, behavior should be differentiated on basis of my performance and not on basis of my color, race or gender. And if anyone is trying to convince me or imposing power upon me on similar lines then I will
- Not get panic or scared
- Raise my concern of Disagreement to the individual
- Yet, if my concerns are not being heard
- I will raise my voice to the senior authorities as per the protocol
- I will make sure, that I stand for myself in these tough scenarios not only to be heard, but for all other women who can be a prey to these inhumane people in the future
On this International Women month, let’s commit to be kind to ourselves, listen to our deep voices and let’s stand strong and united with each other in tough times. Together we can and we will make many more women lives more beautiful and worthful living with abundance of happiness, self-awareness and respect for each other.
Love and Light for all the beautiful women and kind men in the world